Getting It Together Thursdays: JOMO [Joy of Missing Out]

It’s not a secret that I was once completely out of control, but in the exact opposite way I am now. The fact that I went to a party school wasn’t a happy coincidence. I don’t remember a lot of details about college and it’s probably because I was regularly ingesting 1,000 alcohol calories 3-4 times a week. Friday mornings routinely consisted of me being hungover in bed watching all the great Thursday night TV I missed the night before hanging out at the same bars with the same people.

I’m comfortable talking about this because it was never a secret to my family – as long as I was “safe” (i.e. not drinking and driving, not passing out, etc. etc.) and kept my grades up, it didn’t matter what I did (despite getting guns pulled on me in the Philippines and eating in Nigerian kitchens – that didn’t elicit smiles and laughs from my parents). From the time I was 14 until I was halfway through being 24, I wasn’t comfortable spending a Friday or Saturday at home – and I could probably count on two hands the number of times I did. No, I wasn’t necessarily out getting wasted all the time, but I was at least out doing something.

 

Italian tomatoes | almost getting it together

Fun fact: If you’re a loud, drunk American your Italian neighbors throw tomatoes at you.

 

I spent the first three-quarters of 2013 traveling just about every weekend and staying in half-marathon shape (and running them, of course). I was always jealous of people who were able to enjoy being at home – I was never that girl. I wondered what it was like to enjoy laying in bed watching a movie or reading for pleasure or any of those normal things normal people do. I blamed my need for traveling and going out on my boundless energy and sense of wanderlust, but let’s be real – I just had FOMO for ten years before it could be self-diagnosed.

Then something happened: I realized I was absolutely miserable going out. I was uninterested in a glass of wine before it was finished more often than not. I knew how many empty calories were in those endless shots people kept buying. Unless I had a reason to be out (i.e. seeing some guy I liked), I found that I was a lot happier at home reading blogs, catching up on all the things I didn’t have time for during the week and not gaining back my college weight by drinking like an Irishman.

 

kennebunkport maine | almost getting it together

I love Maine because you can just relax and unplug.

 

Last week, I found a blog post I missed from Lululemon in which my disease of homebody-ness was diagnosed: JOMO, or Joy of Missing Out. The author, a former magazine editor turned freelance writer, gave up fancy events and parties for the joy of spending time at home. Huffington Post even declared 2014 as the Year of Missing Out.

In October-November 2013, I began to be more mindful of what I was doing – more mindful of how I was eating, more mindful of how I was spending my free time, more mindful of putting down the phone and enjoying the moment. I’ve never been one to have my finger on the shutter constantly when traveling or somewhere, so deep down I knew how to live in the moment.

I live in Pittsburgh – the bar scene is going to be the same people, same places, different night – I know I’m not missing out on anything terribly cool. Yeah, Sidney Crosby might be at the bar – but he probably is not going to come up and ask for my hand in marriage once again. I’m happier binge watching Scandal and waking up in the morning to go to yoga or for a long run than I am spending my entire weekend hungover in bed and eating greasy food, only to feel immensely guilty Sunday night.

Much happier running 13.1 miles on a Saturday morning than being hungover.

Much happier running 13.1 miles on a Saturday morning than being hungover.

For now, I’m turning down invites if I don’t want to do something. I used to pride myself on never canceling on people and forcing myself to do everything, but now I pick and choose the things that will make me most happy.

Chat with me:
No questions, just your thoughts.

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15 thoughts on “Getting It Together Thursdays: JOMO [Joy of Missing Out]

  1. Couldn’t agree more hun. I’ve always been more of a homebody, but I’d feel really guilty saying no when friends invited me out (when I didn’t want to go) or going out and then feeling like crap the next day. It’s taken me awhile to get here, but I’m finally to the point where I’m comfortable doing what I want. If I want to go out, great; if I’d rather stay in and read/watch a movie, that’s also great, since I know my run will feel a lot better the next day. I definitely choose the latter more than the former, but I’m finally ok with it.

  2. Well you know how I feel about this! I’d rather be at home emailing you than out at bars. Though truth-be-told I’m a bit too much of a homebody now and probably should go out more. I feel like I got all of that out of my system in Montreal and NYC but my life could use a bit more action! Speaking of which, I owe you an email!

  3. Pingback: Friday Favorites | Nutty for Life

  4. Ahhh this is a really great post Cass! Honestly, I never really went through a “wild” stage but I definitely went through a period where I hated being at home. I’m going to echo Davida and say that I should probably go out a little more than I do haha I’m the definition of a homebody and I like that but I’m only 23 and need to make more of an effort to go out.

  5. I hear you! I used to be go-go-go all the time. I guess I still am, but it’s more about work and the gym. And my Saturday night meal out – going to a new restaurant is something I look forward to all week!

  6. Exactly like you- both past and present. Especially with full time work now- this has become even more important to prioritise what is important and not think of myself as selfish for choosing to do that.

    Hope you get this while blog reading on a Friday night 😉

  7. Pingback: Now Trending [1] | Almost Getting It Together

  8. I love lying in bed and watching TV or reading a book more than I enjoy most things. I was never a big partier, but I was doing work or activities for the majority of my time in college. So the ONE day that I had to rest was Friday afternoons. I would watch all the TV I missed out on for the entire week and I would sleep. Maybe I’m just still catching up on all the LACK of sleep from my college days (and my entire overly ambitious life before that), but nowadays I’ll gladly turn down invitations to do what I want. I think that’s healthy!

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